this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
