If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Enjoy the penises
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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