I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
