I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
