Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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