They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
