she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
