Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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