Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
