I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Randomize
