I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
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