i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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