If i come over, it means nothing
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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