i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
