Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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