garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I didn't notice because vodka
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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