Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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