I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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