Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
