his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
