Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
