You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have already put on my inside pants.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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