just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
