the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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