He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
