My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
