the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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