I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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