Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize