Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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