i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
