She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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