Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
