I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i need to put some appletini on your dick
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams