my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?