i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes