she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.