I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy