omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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