the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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