a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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