soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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