Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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