Already got asked if we're dating
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize