is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
