I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
