I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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