Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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