I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I could fuck to npr.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
