So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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