it wasn't lemon gatorade
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
