im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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