Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
