i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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