What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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