i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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