Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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