Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You know, be my cock's hype man.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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